Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
