made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
