are you still at the devil's house?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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