you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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