i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Randomize
