i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
