I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
