you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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