This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
