so let's talk penis.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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