I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
