Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
