Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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