When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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