u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
third nipple confirmed
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I am available for nakedness
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize