You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
