third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
