Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
