garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
