somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
