P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
