I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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