so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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