But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
