Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
