Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
