My hand turned me down
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
