I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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