My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think people are normalizing furries
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
