At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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