so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
