yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Terrible idea I love it
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
