yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
