apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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