dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
