i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
