My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize