I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Your penis caused this!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
