we made out on top of his cat.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
