I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
