Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
