and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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