The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Is it because I queefed?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
