Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
