ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
