you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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