She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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