Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Randomize
