whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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