I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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