Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Jake died.

(310): View more from California

WTF????????? That's how you tell me????

(818): View more from California

Oops typo. Jake cried.

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(917): View more from New York City

i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.

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(925): View more from California

I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth

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(406): View more from Montana

It was just a squirrel

(253): View more from Washington

You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar

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(334): View more from Alabama

Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.

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(407): View more from Florida

When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.

(301): View more from Maryland

Did you reintroduce yourself?

(407): View more from Florida

He threatened to call the cops.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.

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(727): View more from Florida

My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.

(851): View more from

You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.

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