I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
