she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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