On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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