No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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