When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
