She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
