So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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