Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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