maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
