O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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