We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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