problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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