he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
high people should be assigned attendants
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
