Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
