Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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