yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
