I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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