I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
