New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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