If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
